Me too!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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