He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
