used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
