Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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