I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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