He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
