I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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