Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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