I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
