And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
