We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
