Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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