69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
