If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
