Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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