i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Randomize
