So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
