Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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