What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
