i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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