y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
