I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
