note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I need a beard to bite.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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