Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Found the puke drawer
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
