porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
