this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize