and you said cock pushups were impossible
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
