My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
