Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
