called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
