there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
