It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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