im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
