Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
