Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
