Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
