I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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