Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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