I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
