did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
