sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Randomize
