I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
