Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
