i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
