but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
