Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
