around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
