Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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