Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
