I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
