Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
